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If we can be sure of our own desires and wants first, others no longer have the same hold over us, or ability to disappoint. You will be surprised by who is attracted to you I don't have a checklist of attributes a prospective date must have, but I realised I do have a pretty rigid picture of what kind of options I have when it comes to who will date me. The tall, handsome, athletic guy who works in finance is generally not someone I imagine would find me attractive. Yet attraction is so diverse and fluid, it's impossible to impose tastes based on questionable assumptions.

You don't know who will be attracted to you. Let go of any narratives or checklists that cling to previous experiences and allow yourself to be surprised.

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I realised I had been recounting the same crowd-pleasing anecdotes and asking the same sure-fire questions. I was using the experiment as a fallback conversation starter. I'd be overly cerebral instead of attempting awkward flirtatious banter, or conversely I'd be coquettish to avoid a normal conversation about hobbies or where I grew up. We all have topics we find easy to return to when feeling nervous, but I found that I was hiding behind them on each date, creating a safety net so I didn't have to show myself. The experiment itself was a way to remain safe and wear a mask if I had to. But when I did, I short-changed myself, missing an opportunity to get to know someone, and allow them to know me.

Finding someone you connect with is rare Concluding the experiment, the results from my post-date surveys, combined with my own feelings, showed that I'd had a physical and emotional connection with 23 per cent. When it came to a connection akin to what we call love, zero per cent. I did not drive off into the sunset in an intoxicating new relationship at the end of my experiment. Such odds may seem dismal but, in many ways for the long-term single, it's comforting to know it's not your nose, waistline, job or supposed personality flaw that determines your relationship status. It's just that the odds are slim to begin with.

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